Tomorrow is the due date of our miscarriage and tonight as I re-read this post for the zillionth time, I found a link to this article. You really should read it. It gave me goose bumps and was exactly what I needed to hear. Especially this:
"Psalms 121:4. “Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber, nor sleep.”
I wept.
It is true. Our God is a sleepless God. He is vigilant. He is awake. He is inexhaustibly aware – even when things don’t appear to be going as planned. Even when the results leave us broken – so broken we wonder if we can ever be fixed. He is watching over us. For we are His."
I know that Heavenly Father is watching over me and knows my heart. A few weeks ago, on the exact day that Mand told me she was pregnant and I was trying so hard to let her know just how truly ecstatic I was for her and hide just how much I ached inside, I got a letter from my old roommate and friend Haley. That letter, that had to cross oceans and continents and arrived on the exact day I needed it, wasn't a coincidence. It was exactly what I needed to hear that day and Heavenly Father knew it and made it happen. I know that everything happens for a reason and that Heavenly Father knows us and knows what we need. And mostly I know that He loves us, for we are His.
Thank you so much Hay. You will never know what your letter meant to me.
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4 comments:
I LOVE that scripture. It's short and simple but so, so powerful. I'll keep you in my prayers today. Call me if you need to talk or even just hang out!
I thought about you all day yesterday! You've been in our prayers as well. It's amazing the tender mercies we receive exactly when we need them most! Thanks for sharing your testimony! You are an amzing example to me and everyone around you! Love ya!
I'm glad it made it.
You probably won't be checking this link now since it has been so long since you posted, but I wanted to say thank you. About a month ago I had a miscarriage and I never realized how much they hurt. You want someone to talk to who has also had a miscarriage because they actually understand. They know how much heartache you're feeling and the feeling of emptiness as you sit in your bed and cry.
Today I was in the shower thinking, "I should be done with my first trimester by now. But instead we're back to square one, and I hate it." You feel like you lost a child you've known forever but you still wonder if it was a boy or a girl, their name, and what joys they would have brought into your life. I'm sorry that you've had to go through that twice. Once is truly hard enough. Good luck with our next ones huh?
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